I’d walked by it for months and left it untouched. But finally I turned around and knelt down and started moving the pieces back up to eye view. It was magnetic word poetry, given to me by friends. When I first put it on my fridge, I’d ask my friends to make a phrase or…
Tasting the Cake
I lied about my first kiss. Not the one from the boy named Billy who defended my honor back in kindergarten. But the one in high school that I told my classmates about, rather than admitting that no boy had tried yet. It happens. But it’s a shame when it does. Because when I finally…
Dating at Fortysomething
“I used to not have a problem putting myself out there,” my friend Randi said. “I’d go out, date guys, no problem. But then I got in to the more geeky side of things and when I’d flirt with guys they’d get this deer in the headlights look and I’d get self-conscious and now it’s…
The Final Box
It was a short email. “I’m finally down to the last little bit of stuff to get out of [the place], so please let me know when and how is best for me to get a small box of your things to you.” You would think after over a year, I would be done with…
I Stalked a Boy and I Liked It
I saw him first on Tinder – a dating app that incorporates Facebook to compare your common interests, mutual friends, and location. If you and your match select “yes” for each other, a chat message feature is unlocked. I’ve been told that some people only use it for a hook up system – others use…
Bottom’s Up
For this last round of tests, I had to lie bare bottom up. And as I was lying there, waiting for them to aspirate me, Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” came on the radio. It’s true, I got rickrolled. I laughed out loud in the operating room, which surprised the surgical assistant. It…
Aliens, Poo and Pelvic Activity
So it has been almost a month since my alienectomy. To say that transition from alien baby carrier (10 inch dermoid cyst firmly attached to my left ovary) to recovery patient of a hysterectomy and partial oophorectomy (left ovary removal) has been an adventure would be odd. On the one hand, I had a month…
On Pregnancy Tests
On Monday. I took my final pregnancy test. “We’re required to do one whenever we are doing surgery”, the nurse explained. The irony of a pregnancy test prior to a hysterectomy was not lost on me. “It just goes to show,” my friend Mombie texted, “There have been enough malpractices for performing hysterectomies on pregnant…
Phantom Loss
“I don’t need a uterus to have kids in my life,” I declared. “I’ve got 15 nieces and nephews; I’ve got a roommate that is young enough to be my son, I run a charity event for non-profit that deals with foster kids and adoption. If I decide I want a child, I think I…