In and out, in and out, don’t hyperventilate, don’t overthink it, don’t hold it in, don’t forget to let it out, breathe, breathe, breathe, feel like you’re in labor, feel like you’re drowning, feel like you are barely awake, feel like the world is yelling even though everything is deadly quiet.
Just Breathe.
whoooooooooooosh.
Feel better?
Yeah, but only if you don’t think about it too much.
“So tell us about this new love interest in your life.” a friend asked last night.
I duck my head. “It’s still a little new, and there are things going on, and I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.”
Breathe.
My foster dog has started hiding under the covers each night. I often wake up to find him curled up next to my cold, smelly feet. Why would an animal willingly subject himself to such torture? I almost sat on him this morning because I forgot that sometimes a rumpled quilt is not a rumpled quilt, it’s a silly dog.
Breathe.
Work has me in a tizzy. Every day I walk in determined to conquer the world. Many days I flee in hopes that tomorrow will be better. No matter how much I give, it will not be enough because we are running understaffed with no hope of rescue in sight.
Breathe.
Most of the time I’m fine with the fact that the 3 last major relationships in my life have all either gotten married or engaged and that I’m still single. That’s fine. No really, that’s fine. Unless maybe I’m the problem. I’m not the problem though. And there’s not a problem. Well, only that I find myself wondering if there is a problem and I’m just not seeing it and oh god oh god why hast thou forsaken me and how do I not mess this new thing up? Am I being too clingy? Am I being too standoffish? Was I overconfident last night and turn off new people that came to the Geek Meet because in reality I was just trying to hold it together and oh god why hasn’t he texted me and. . .
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
No, it’s really not you. You’re awesome. I love you. Keep breathing.
I love that song.
Breathe deep the gathering gloom Watch lights fade from every room Bedsitter people look back and lament Another day’s useless energy spent Impassioned lovers wrestle as one Lonely man cries for love and has none New mother picks up and suckles her son Senior citizens wish they were young Cold hearted orb that rules the night Removes the colors from our sight Red is grey and yellow white But we decide which is right And which is an illusion?