One of the strange things about online dating is the boldness that normally socially awkward individuals feel behind the safety of their computer screen.
I am constantly amazed by people who pick screen names like “imhereforsex273” and “IncarnateLust45” (really – there were that many people who already picked that?). But at least they put it right out there and save me the trouble of having to figure out their game.
What throws me are the ones where you are having a fairly banal conversation and suddenly you read:
He: Do you like sex?
Me: Umm – random. I’m not really looking to jump right in to bed with anyone. But once I find the right person – yes, I do like sex.
He: Okay. So what kind of sex do you like?
I double checked my status at this point, just to make sure that “casual dating” and “intimate encounters” weren’t checked. Then I politely explained that although I could certainly appreciate that he was horny and wanted to talk about these things tonight, I was probably not the one to help him do that.
I didn’t hear back from him.
It reminds me of a time 5 years ago when I was online and received an IM request. I clicked over on it, and was immediately exposed to a webcam show of a man, his hand, and his crotch and some rather vigorous activity.
I politely thanked him for the invitation and said it wasn’t for me before closing the window.
Several days later, I received a very enthusiastic email from the same man – talking about all the things we had in common and how he would love to chat with me sometime and maybe meet. I then reminded him that we had already met via webcam, and that I didn’t think I was what he was looking for.
He dismissed this (once he remembered it) and incredulously asked, “You mean you can’t get past this?” Nope, sorry. I think I would always remember that the first time I met you – I saw the head that did most of your thinking. Thanks though!
I am sure that it was my loss.
I know this is an old post, but I just found your blog today and was browsing through. I’m sorry that you found yourself in the world of online dating again. I’ve been there, done that too. I thought I’d share the best (worst?) comment that I ever received.
First, to set this up, I only dated online for a few months. It was frustrating and hit my self esteem pretty hard. Anyway, during that time, I’d hit it off with one guy. He’d taken the time to actually read my profile and would include my interests in his emails. Like a border of Nightmare Before Christmas graphics or something like that. We went on one date and I brought a friend as a buffer. A few days later, we were chatting online and I could tell that he was trying to steer the conversation towards sex. I kept dodging it and finally said something like, “I don’t want to boast about my sex life like it’s some kind of achievement.” He said, “It doesn’t have to be boasting. For example, have you ever had anal sex?” Whaaaaa????? This came right out of nowhere. I’m not prude by any means, but I was so offended that I exited the chat and blocked him from contacting me. I think I did get one email from him trying to apologize, but I never contacted him again.