{"id":355,"date":"2013-07-09T08:00:43","date_gmt":"2013-07-09T12:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/?p=355"},"modified":"2013-07-08T13:59:54","modified_gmt":"2013-07-08T17:59:54","slug":"taken-gay-or-too-far-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/?p=355","title":{"rendered":"Taken, Gay, or Too Far Away"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was at a comedy club on Saturday night with some friends, and as a certain guy caught my eye, my immediate first thought was this: \u201cI wonder if he is taken, gay, or too far away?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The answer? He was taken. <\/p>\n

Lately, guys I\u2019ve been attracted to seem to fall in to these categories. The taken is simple and an immediate showstopper. I don\u2019t even give it a second thought \u2013 homey don\u2019t play that way. The gay makes me wonder if they would be a good match for LC because heaven knows he\u2019s not finding much on his own.<\/p>\n

The \u201ctoo far away\u201d is the sticky one. I don\u2019t like long-distance relationships. It\u2019s too easy to talk on the phone or online and hide behind the mask of distance. Something under two hours is potentially doable although extremely dissatisfying for more impromptu courtship. In times gone by I might have thought, \u201cHey \u2013 if it was the right guy, I would totally move there.\u201d In fact, been there, done that \u2013 it\u2019s how I wound up in Charlotte in the first place.<\/p>\n

But life is different now, and I find myself not really willing to move to a new town. I have roots here in Charlotte, something that has not really happened before. This has been a surprising yet comforting realization for me.<\/p>\n

This means that I need to find someone who is either local or willing to relocate. The local is possible \u2013 although for being a big city, Charlotte often seems like a small town. The Geek community is fairly close-knit, and trying to find a Geek to date leads to some interesting crossover conversations. Dating someone outside of the Geek community feels like an episode of Breaking Amish \u2013 they don\u2019t understand our culture and we don\u2019t know how to reconcile theirs with ours. I\u2019m open to both, just acknowledging the challenges.<\/p>\n

Willing to relocate is also good \u2013 but that definitely means making some form of commitment or resorting to the long-distance thing while trying to figure it all out. This can put a lot of pressure on a relationship.<\/p>\n

Of course, far away doesn\u2019t always mean distance. Sometimes far away means that we are at different points in our lives. Often people who start dating don\u2019t realize they aren\u2019t really ready to date yet \u2013 they just don\u2019t want to be alone. And that\u2019s understandable. But it doesn\u2019t really improve my batting average.<\/p>\n

So then what? Nothing much changes. I\u2019ll continue to put myself out there, hope to find someone who ticks enough of the right boxes, meet some nice guys, and see what happens.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was at a comedy club on Saturday night with some friends, and as a certain guy caught my eye, my immediate first thought was this: \u201cI wonder if he is taken, gay, or too far away?\u201d The answer? He was taken. Lately, guys I\u2019ve been attracted to seem to fall in to these categories….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2UnPK-5J","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=355"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}