{"id":350,"date":"2013-06-24T13:21:42","date_gmt":"2013-06-24T17:21:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/?p=350"},"modified":"2013-06-24T13:22:58","modified_gmt":"2013-06-24T17:22:58","slug":"a-ronulian-tale-the-princess-and-the-pee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/?p=350","title":{"rendered":"A Ronulian Tale: The Princess and the Pee"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Ron is a real person who dated my sister.  A Ronulian is someone who possesses Ron-like qualities.  A Ronduh is someone who is dumb enough to put up with them. Here\u2019s today\u2019s story \u2013 Happy Ronday!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>RonKiki had been working as a contractor through a temp agency for several months but was starting to have attendance issues.<\/p>\n<p>When her staffing manager reached out to her about this, RonKiki confessed that she was a bit homesick and asked if she could apply for assignments in her hometown through the same agency.  Although highly irregular, the staffing manager agreed and RonKiki took a week off from her current assignment to go home and see what jobs she could get.<\/p>\n<p>The agency was able to present her to another assignment, and after a brief interview, she was offered the position.  All she had to do was pass the background check and the drug test.  This was great news!<\/p>\n<p>RonKiki had already been through an extensive background check and fingerprinting for her current assignment, so the agency knew she would pass that.  And she went in to her drug testing the next day, so everything should be in order soon.<\/p>\n<p>Except. . . she failed her drug screen. <\/p>\n<p>When asked about it, RonKiki didn\u2019t flinch \u2013 she totally admitted that she did drugs and figured she would fail. RonKiki was stunned when the agency informed her that now she wouldn\u2019t be able to return to her current assignment either.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>But they don\u2019t require drug tests<\/em>!\u201d  she wailed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>That\u2019s right<\/em>,\u201d the manager explained.  \u201c<em>But we are your employer and now we know that you have failed, which is a violation of our policy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cYou guys are just being mean to me on purpose<\/em>.\u201d She declared.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, RonKiki, the law is a mean, mean thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ron is a real person who dated my sister. A Ronulian is someone who possesses Ron-like qualities. A Ronduh is someone who is dumb enough to put up with them. Here\u2019s today\u2019s story \u2013 Happy Ronday! RonKiki had been working as a contractor through a temp agency for several months but was starting to have&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-ron-blogs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2UnPK-5E","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=350"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}