I try not to think about
\n<\/i>What might have been
\n<\/i>‘Cause that was then
\n<\/i>And we have taken different roads
\n<\/i>We can’t go back again
\n<\/i>There’s no use giving in
\n<\/i>And there’s no way to know
\n<\/i>What might have been<\/i><\/p>\n
(What Might Have Been<\/i>, as sung by Little Texas)<\/p>\n
This song has been going through my head a lot lately, and I finally broke down and bought it from iTunes.\u00a0 It\u2019s already been played several times. Okay, a lot of times.<\/p>\n
With my birthday a few days away, and a lot of meaningful dates floating on either side of them (anniversaries, birthdays, milestones, etc.) it\u2019s easy to reflect about people in your past and how the roles have changed from then to now.<\/p>\n
In the past few weeks, I\u2019ve had several encounters with ex-boyfriends and even my ex-husband. I\u2019ve learned about changes in their lives and experienced some of my own.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When I became single again last fall, I was able to find comfort in the arms of my friend Rocker.\u00a0 Five years ago, he and I had dated briefly but it soon became clear that we were in different places in our lives.\u00a0 When I moved on to other dating opportunities, he understood and wished me well. Our friendship continued, but he always flattered me by telling me that under different circumstances, he would have never let me go.\u00a0<\/p>\n
This time, he was there at a time when I really needed a friend, and helped repair my bruised heart. But once again, time and distance played against us and I found myself moving on.\u00a0 He understood and wished me well.<\/p>\n
I met a new friend – Radio \u2013 and upon first meeting I knew he was not yet ready for a relationship with someone like me. We walked in to our friendship with wide-open eyes.\u00a0 Radio was newly out of a marriage and it was easy for us to talk openly and candidly about things.\u00a0 I felt like, in many ways, I could help repair his bruised soul much the way that Rocker had healed mine.<\/p>\n
After several enjoyable weeks, I could feel myself on the cusp \u2013 either moving forward, or moving on.\u00a0\u00a0Dating stinks, and not having to date and yet still having the comforts of a Platonic Plus relationship (aka FWB) was an attractive distraction.\u00a0 But I also knew that there were a lot of things that still didn\u2019t work, and the fact that I was willing to ignore them and move forward was not healthy.<\/p>\n
I forced myself back to POF and OKCupid, and stumbled across a photo of a man that immediately caught my eye.\u00a0 I waited to contact him, suddenly shy, but Hiram responded back and after several days of great conversation, we met and it has now blossomed in to something with great potential.<\/p>\n
As soon as Hiram and I had started chatting, I let Radio know that I was going to have to downgrade our relationship to just friends \u2013 and he took it somewhat in stride.\u00a0 I knew he was struggling through his own personal issues, and I knew the timing was not ideal.\u00a0 But because we had been open from the beginning, he respected my wishes.<\/p>\n
Radio and I still chat \u2013 and I hate all that he is going through.\u00a0 Knowing that he has to deal with so much alone, while I am moving in a more positive direction, makes me feel guilty.\u00a0 I know I don\u2019t need<\/i> to feel guilty, it\u2019s just a side effect of who I am.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s what has happened.\u00a0 I\u2019ve looked back at past loves, past relationships, and thought about what might have been.\u00a0 Most are in better places, some are in worse, but all have moved in different directions.\u00a0 And I wish them all well.<\/p>\n
In these days of no regrets
\n<\/i>I keep mine to myself
\n<\/i>And all the things we never said
\n<\/i>I can say for someone else
\n<\/i>And nothing last forever but we always try
\n<\/i>And I just can’t help but wonder why
\n<\/i>We let it pass us by
\n<\/i>When I see you now I wonder how
\n<\/i>I could’ve watched you walk away
\n<\/i>If I let you down please forgive me now
\n<\/i>For that beautiful goodbye<\/i><\/p>\n
(Beautiful Goodbye<\/i>, as sung by Amanda Marshall)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I try not to think about What might have been ‘Cause that was then And we have taken different roads We can’t go back again There’s no use giving in And there’s no way to know What might have been (What Might Have Been, as sung by Little Texas) This song has been going through…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[62,63,9,59,64,61,60,11,65,39,58,7,57],"class_list":["post-278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating","tag-amanda-marshall","tag-beautiful-goodbye","tag-dating-2","tag-hiram","tag-itunes","tag-little-texas","tag-music","tag-okcupid","tag-plenty-of-fish","tag-pof","tag-radio","tag-rocker","tag-what-might-have-been"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2UnPK-4u","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=278"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/278\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}