{"id":188,"date":"2013-04-29T10:00:30","date_gmt":"2013-04-29T10:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/?p=188"},"modified":"2013-04-29T06:07:14","modified_gmt":"2013-04-29T10:07:14","slug":"get-your-ron-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/?p=188","title":{"rendered":"Get Your Ron Here!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A friend inspired me to write this commercial about Ron.\u00a0 Happy Ronday!<\/em><\/p>\n

“You’ve read about him online, you’ve seen him in your dreams, now you can have him all to yourself – for only 19.99! Get your homeRon today!<\/p>\n

“But wait there’s more! If you call in the next 30 minutes you’ll get: his sexy Burger King uniform! His gold-rimmed sunglasses! His partially-used pack of Magnum condoms! His fluffy white kitty named after the porn star! Now how much would you pay? It’s still only $19.99!!<\/p>\n

“But wait – how about if we include his cherry bondo-covered Camaro for FREE? Deals like this don’t come by ever day! Act now before they are all gone!”<\/p>\n

[legal disclaimer: $19.99 does not include shipping & handling or insurance & registration for bondo-covered Camaro. Impound and ticket processing fees billed separately. Camaro would be trademarked but they would prefer not to be connected in any way, shape or form with homeRon so spoof it all you like. Not legal US tender. Cause Ron never liked it tender. ]<\/span><\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A friend inspired me to write this commercial about Ron.\u00a0 Happy Ronday! “You’ve read about him online, you’ve seen him in your dreams, now you can have him all to yourself – for only 19.99! Get your homeRon today! “But wait there’s more! If you call in the next 30 minutes you’ll get: his sexy…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-ron-blogs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2UnPK-32","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=188"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}