My mom used to think it was helpful to tell me that \u201cI have a beautiful face, and if I could just lose a few pounds. . .\u201d\u00a0 She would often reinforce that sentiment by telling me how she had shown people at work my pictures and they had said the same thing.\u00a0 I know she meant it to be encouraging, but in the end I found myself resenting these people I didn\u2019t even know.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Now I rarely believe it when someone tells me I\u2019m beautiful. It\u2019s just a word to me \u2013 not specific, not genuine, lacking a certain ring of truth.\u00a0 This is especially true when it\u2019s a random stranger \u2013 especially someone on a dating site.\u00a0\u00a0 When I get an email that says \u201cHello Beautiful\u201d I automatically think \u201cNigerian Money Scam.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t help it. \u00a0If someone says I\u2019m beautiful, they must want something from me.<\/p>\n
As a plus-sized girl, I\u2019ve had my share of losers who think that I owe them extra because they are willing to talk to a fat chick or even ask one out on a date, etc. I should be grateful that they call me \u201cbeautiful\u201d or \u201cpretty\u201d or \u201cnot half bad in a certain light.\u201d I know I\u2019m better than that.\u00a0 In fact, I even know that I have moments of pretty and can be vivacious and attractive and yes, spank bank worthy.\u00a0 What I prefer is something more specific.\u00a0 Like \u2013 \u201cI love your hair today\u201d or \u201cyour eyes are so blue\u201d or \u201cyou have a great smile.\u201d<\/p>\n
About 6 years ago I was chatting with a guy.\u00a0 He kept pushing for a full body photo, because most of my profile photos were headshots.\u00a0 When I sent it to him, he told me that he didn\u2019t usually go for heavier chicks but there was something about my personality he liked.\u00a0 I thanked him, but told him that I wasn\u2019t interested in starting a relationship where I would constantly be wondering if my personality was still overcoming his issue with my size.<\/p>\n
He was shocked.\u00a0 I guess he figured I should take it as a compliment and be falling all over myself to date him.\u00a0 In fact, he started calling me quite often to chat and ask me out again.\u00a0\u00a0 To my delight, most of his calls usually happened as I was on my way to a date, which seemed to amaze him.\u00a0 How could I, the fat girl, be getting so many dates while he was sitting home alone?<\/p>\n
The mind boggles.<\/p>\n
Back to my point, it is not my life ambition to be called beautiful by everyone.\u00a0 In fact, I rather wish they wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 But someday, when it\u2019s right, someone is going to look me in the eyes and tell me I\u2019m beautiful and I\u2019m going to know that it\u2019s true \u2013 not a scam or a pity compliment. Or like that one singer, because he\u2019s high and everything is beautiful.<\/p>\n
It won\u2019t be tomorrow.\u00a0 It probably won\u2019t be you.\u00a0 And that is fine with me.\u00a0 I prefer it that way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My mom used to think it was helpful to tell me that \u201cI have a beautiful face, and if I could just lose a few pounds. . .\u201d\u00a0 She would often reinforce that sentiment by telling me how she had shown people at work my pictures and they had said the same thing.\u00a0 I know…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[25,9,26],"class_list":["post-133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating","tag-beautiful","tag-dating-2","tag-plus-size"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2UnPK-29","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=133"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/133\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joeywrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}