The Tragedy of Happiness

“I miss your posts.” a friend told me recently. “You just don’t seem to post so much.”

It’s true. I think as a rule it was easier to think of things to say and lessons learned when life was full of awkward online dating stories, sorrowful recalling of past relationship wrongs, and hopeful beginnings.

I’m happy to report that SH and I are now at our 9 month mark with no end in sight. Our life together includes more good things than I dreamed possible – and any challenges tend to be outside of the relationship, things that we handle together.

It’s wonderfully tragic to be too happy to write. Of course, it then means I need to rethink this blog and what I do with it.

Of course, discussing real life challenges as they happen presents problems. You don’t always want to show your hand before things are more solidified – you never know who is reading and how things can be misconstrued. And I for one don’t like to jinx anything.

I’ll still be answering some of the questions I get from others – you will probably see a lot more of those than before.

And I’ll also talk about some other lessons Ive learned – recipes I’ve tried – new goals I’m making. My life is about to take some very positive changes, and I hope you will tag along for the ride. In the meantime, thanks for your support to get to where we are now. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.

Happy Trails Day

It was 9 years ago today that I packed my Toyota Corolla and headed west to Colorado.  I stopped by my mom’s to tell her goodbye, then got in my car and just started driving. 

My reason for leaving on February 13th was calculated:  I didn’t want to spend another Valentine’s Day with someone who didn’t know how to love me, or couldn’t commit to me not just in front of witnesses, but on a day-to-day basis.

I drove 3 days to start this new life.  It’s kind of ironic that I went from living in a brand new home with a queen-sized bed and a steady job and my friends and family around me, but lived in misery because of my marriage.  3 days later, I slept on a poorly-inflated air mattress in a cold 2-room basement sublet with no job and no local friends/family and yet I had never been so giddy.   I was finally free.

Tomorrow will be the first time in 5 years that I won’t have a Valentine or special someone to call my own.  I’d be lying if I wasn’t sometimes sad about it.  Not the loss of the person himself – because why be with someone who doesn’t want you as his forever girl? But just the concept, the emptiness of that space in my heart.

However, in reality? It’s okay.  Just like 9 years ago, I recognize the start of a new life.  In the past 4 months I’ve been able to better appreciate the great friendships, good job, and happy world I can create for myself.  I’ve got things I’m passionate about, things that make me happy, and a way to give back to others.

Finally, I’m a better person than I ever was.  I’m strong enough to love the right way.  And I’m ready to blaze a new trail.

“Two roads diverged in a yellowed and I?  I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference . . .” (Robert Frost)