I met Chase on OKCupid. He had actually messaged me just as I was starting to date Knight, so I ended up messaging him back several weeks later when things went sour.
Chase was a very busy man: two jobs and going to school. So we mostly chatted online, although he asked me if I would go on a date with him. After I said yes, he seemed to drop out of contact for several weeks.
He popped back in and we chatted back and forth. We discovered that we would both be attending the same Sci Fi con. I mentioned that I had recently dyed my hair red, and he wanted to see so he gave me his cell – I texted him a pic and then we began texting back and forth.
Nothing serious, nothing constant, just now and then. He mentioned that he had a room to himself at the hotel, I mentioned that I was sharing with a couple of my friends. He offered that I could come hang out in his room for some peace and quiet and “just to talk” if I needed that.
A week before the con, he messaged me on OKCupid to say that he had lost his phone and would contact me once he got his new number. I replied back with “Ah, yes. The old lose the phone so I can’t text you any more routine – I get it. ”
I didn’t hear back from him. A few days later when I went to message and make sure he knew I was kidding, his OKCupid account had been deleted.
Oh well, I thought. He certainly wasn’t the only guy I was talking to, and our communication had been spotty at best. I had a great time at the Con both Friday and Saturday, and as I was sifting through messages on Sunday morning I saw a text from an email account saying, “I wonder if this will work.”
I recognized the email as his and replied back, “Hey There.”
“Hey there Joey, how have you been? My life has been a wreck, lol. I couldn’t even get the courage up to come by and say hello to you yesterday! My self esteem has taken a huge hit lately, so I just really haven’t been “me.” “
“Dude.” I replied elegantly. “Come say hi today. I’ll be here for a few hours.”
“Good and bad news . . . I can’t see you today because I’m back home now. But my new phone arrived! Yay!”
“Well that’s good,” I answered. “You still suck though.”
“BTW, the red hair looked great, lol. I’ll explain all my drama in an email in a little bit.”
“So you saw me??”
“Yes, for a second.”
“Goober. I can’t believe you. LOL.”
“Need to shut off and charge the phone, I’ll explain later.” (How convenient!)
About 3 hours later, I got the following email:
“So, here’s what been going on. Lost my phone, found out my ex got into my account (I’m sure she had something to do with the missing phone) and started contacting almost everyone about who they are and what they’re doing with me.
Apparently she’s not over me after 2 years . . .
My dad’s been extremely sick, so I’m dealing with that long distance.
I just got a new iPhone, but I am trying not to text much since I don’t want people who happen to access my account to see who I’m talking to. So I’m sticking to email mostly, possibly Viber or Kik for texts.
I guess that’s about it for now. Sorry I was too chicken shit to stop by, like I said, my self-esteem has been shit since this all happened, one of the women I was talking to flipped out about my ex and started berating me. I take that stuff personally. And I’m just really down on myself. I think I just need to find someone to have some bedroom fun with, and tell me it was good and maybe that’ll help, lol.”
Okay – so wow.
Just to sum up: 2 jobs and school, so very busy. Lost phone so couldn’t text him, but when he got his phone back, it was the number he already had. Crazy ex that he’s not been with that somehow has access to his stuff, emailed other women he’s talking to, and may be able to access them again. So he’s going to go to an alternate texting system. And basically, he wants sex and someone to tell him it’s good even if it isn’t.
All the bells in my head say, “Umm. Yeah. Right.” Also – does anyone else think that maybe the “ex” is not an “ex” but a current significant other? Cause that’s the red flag I’m seeing.
But maybe it’s just my red hair.