Ron is a real person.  And these are my real memories of them.  My sister is no longer with us, but these moments continue on in infamy.  I’ll be posting one Ron story every Monday (or Ronday) so we can all shake our heads together.

My sister’s current flame thought he was really something. My sister who was so broke, couldn’t afford to buy any gifts, had written each of us letters which was sweet. Her boyfriend – whom we didn’t really even know yet – showed up with presents for all of us from HIM (he made sure we realized it wasn’t a joint gift) These were CVS type gifts – can of peanuts for my dad and husband, etc.

My gift from sleazoid? A can of body spray that he told me “smelled so good in the store he had to spray it all overhimself and just made him want to get naked and rub up against everyone he met.” He then encouraged me strongly several times to “spray it all over myself cause he wanted to smell it on me – he bet it would make me smell soooo good.”

This while my husband was sitting on one side of me and my dad was sitting on the other. All three of us just looked at him in utter awe of his moxy. My sister just sat there oblivious (Og rest her soul – she was always a tad clueless), my stepmom was holding my dad’s arm back and trying not to either gag or burst out laughing.

Needless to say, I didn’t spray it on me and I “accidentally” left it at my parents house when we left. My stepmom teased me unmercifully before agreeing to just throw it away.