Got to catch up with some dear friends this weekend, and while chatting about my dating adventures, my one friend discussed the warning signs of an abuser and mentioned a good article about the subject by Steven Stosny, Ph.D.  You can read the full article here: Are You Dating An Abuser?

Here are the 9 early warning signs: (each one is explained more completely in the article).

  1. Blamer
  2. Resenter
  3. Entitlement
  4. Superiority
  5. Pettiness
  6. Sarcasm
  7. Deceit (intentional or unintentional)
  8. Minor Jealousy
  9. Rusher

An interesting point that they make is that you just need to trust yourself and your instincts.  But also, if you seem to keep dating the same kinds of guys – you may need to re-examine what you are looking for that appeals to you.

I know I personally was in a verbally abusive marriage for 9 years.  Part of my problem was that I was too proud to admit that my marriage was less than perfect – so I would try extra hard to “keep up appearances.”  Now, I’m the opposite – openly vocal.  But it’s still good to remind ourselves of the signs – just in case we lull ourselves in to sense of acceptance on unacceptable behavior.